Somewhere in the Middle You'll Find Me

I'm riding the fence. College or home? I am torn.
College. This has proved to be a blessing in so many ways! Besides the obvious college education factor, I have also become way more prayerful and reliant on God for the small things in everyday life. I have met incredible friends. I have a good job. I enjoy my classes, for the most part.. ;)  Chapel is amazing. I know completing a degree will help me, should I enter the work force. I even spoke with a man who works for a mission organization in Africa, and he told me about their need for Home-Ec-Education specialists to teach village people life skills! However I find myself feeling constantly surrounded, yet lonely. I don't feel like myself....but maybe this really is myself.....okay that's the extent of my philosophizing. Something doesn't feel right about being here on my own but having my parents paying for it and having to pay back colossal loans for it. Basically, I'm finding myself how I anticipated: desparately missing.....
Home. The whole reason behind my FCS-Ed major. SO MANY THINGS I miss (I won't go into listing them). SO MANY THINGS I would love to do there (maybe I'll share those later). Going back home would not mean becoming a lazy, couch potato, parasite. Nor does it mean letting my mind God has blessed me with go to waste. It is my goal and dream to become a domestic artist. I want to excel in the art of making a house a home; I want to be a blessing to my family and through them, other families. Why am I paying thousands and thousands of dollars to learn something my excellent homemaking mother can teach me through experience? What better way to learn about my passion, families, than to be engaged in my own? I would relish the opportunity to teach my sister and help her with her education. That right there would save us a couple dollars! Not paying private school tuition or private college tuition! I dream of broadening my sewing expertise, learning how to sew clothing and curtains! I want to learn more about gardening. I would love to learn home canning and preservation. I could acquire skills for financial management. The list goes on. Those skills could be taken to minister to others in Africa. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but a college degree is not necessary to teach over there.

Regardless of my situation and where I am, I still praise God! I'm thankful for Him being unchanging. He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He's the one constant in my life. There are so many things to praise Him for that I don't even have time to waste pining for what I don't have. I have made the decision to CHOOSE JOY and delight in the Lord's love!